Spadea: I want gun rights for NJ, too. Here’s how we actually get it done

This week Gov. Chris Christie smartly vetoed new legislation from the Democrats in Trenton that would have potentially made the process of gun ownership and applying for a carry permit even more difficult that it already is for legal applicants.

Immediately the forces on either side gear up for battle.

Gun advocates flooded my morning show with calls discussing the Second Amendment, tyranny and the right to self defense.  Gun control defenders spoke to the media about “right wing talking points” (and that was a legislator in north Jersey).


Full article: Spadea: I want gun rights for NJ, too. Here’s how we actually get it done

Worth reading. It isn’t just the video.

As to the video above.

Judges, sheriffs, and cops seem to enjoy deciding, with only a few words and minimal evidence, what is legit and what isn’t. My mother went through a hell like this with my father.

This isn’t about concealed carry licenses… my mother and I already have them. It’s about a restraining order.

Back when my father first became violent due to his illness, he attempted to kill my mother. The police were called, they handled it very poorly, but we were advised to get him involuntarily committed and to get a restraining order to make sure he wasn’t released back to the home to try and kill my mother again.

Having him involuntarily committed wasn’t a problem. We had enough information and evidence that that went through. However… both my mother and I went to court to get restraining orders, my mother to keep him out of the home and me in an attempt to keep them from trying to put him in my care so he could try to kill me next.

We filled out the paperwork, both of us crying hysterically because, hey, we’re pulling out a restraining order on my mom’s husband and my father! That isn’t easy to do! But we filled out the paperwork and our first hearing for the temporary restraining order was that same day, so we went and sat in the court room.

The judge called us up together since we had paperwork for separate orders against the same person. He listened to what we said and then said to us, “I’m having trouble agreeing to this because I have seen too many people come in here who just want to throw out a sick old man instead of taking care of him. And it seems to me you are just trying to throw out a sick old man. I am going to grant you the temporary restraining order, but when you come back for the year long one, you damn well better prove your case.”

My mother and I walked out of that court room feeling helpless, hopeless, and alone. We were convinced this judge wouldn’t grant us the restraining order and we’d have to bring him home, where he’d be even madder than normal and probably would succeed in killing my mother or both of us. We ended up both having to pay for a lawyer neither of us could afford to represent us for a restraining order against a man who had tried to kill my mother, a man who was sick and needed help that no one would help, and us, who also no one would help. We spent so long being told it was his illness and we just had to suck it up. We knew he was sick… but that didn’t make him less dangerous. We didn’t want to throw him away… we just wanted someone to help us before he killed one of us, and this was literally our last chance. We felt bad enough going in there, and then the judge said those words. We left feeling worse.

My mother was attacked and almost didn’t get the help she needed. She had to pay out the nose to get that help. And she shouldn’t have had to. Granted, doctors should have warned us about the chance of him becoming violent, because it isn’t uncommon with his illness, but they didn’t. And after that, no one would help us at all. No advice. No assistance. And when we called anyone for help we were treated like crap because we should just handle it.

The man in the above video was also afraid for his life. Whatever help he needed, he should have gotten. But as I’ve said before, in this country, we coddle our criminals and treat the victims like the bad guy. This man was left feeling alone and afraid. Believe me, I know what the feeling in his stomach was during that conversation! You feel doomed and alone in the world, and it manifests in a feeling like you want to puke right there but you have to hold it back.

And the effects last a long time. I am struggling so hard, every single day, to believe the system works and to support the cops. I keep telling myself that just because the cops that came that night handled it badly and were pieces of crap, it doesn’t mean they are all the same. And it is so hard. Because now my immediate reaction to a cop is not the reaction I used to have… it isn’t of support and thanks, it’s of scrutiny and suspicion and I just want to get away from them as quickly as possible. I don’t trust the state government at all with anything. Anything we do, I assume we’re going to get the crap end of the stick no matter what and/or they are going to screw it up immediately. And that isn’t fair. But the damage is done, and I, my mother, and the caller in the video will have to work through that on our own.

Restraining orders don’t work. It didn’t stop my father. He didn’t get home, only because he didn’t know how to and had no money. He was ordered to not call my mother, but he did it regularly, and always just laughed when anyone reminded him about the restraining order. It didn’t matter to him. The restraining order isn’t going to keep anyone away from you. All it does is leave a paper trail that there was an issue and you tried to stop it by any means necessary. Should the guy be granted a concealed carry permit? If he can pass the checks, yes. He did everything in his power to stop his attacker. His gun was the last resort.

It isn’t just about your right to carry a firearm or to get a restraining order. There is so much more involved in it than that that I can’t explain. How we treat people. How we treat criminals vs. how we treat the victims. The lasting effects, not just from their attacker, but from the system. I shouldn’t feel the way I do about cops. I shouldn’t be a complete pessimist with everything involving the system. But I am, because they made me that way. And trust me, he’s that way, too. Take care of yourself, because damn sure no one else will.





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